"Andy trusts her and I trust him," she answered."Fucking Andy," Tomas grumbled, looking away from the rearview mirror in disgust. "Don't forget it was...fucking Andy that got you into this shit!" You're full of shit, Tomas," Lupe said. "Andy didn't get me into anything. It's that awful place we live that got me into this shit. If your loud-mouthed cousin had stayed the fuck out of my business, no one would have paid a bit of attention to me. But she was ragging one fucking day and I shut her. I get to work, and from the outside, it looks like nothing is wrong. Imove, I talk, but my attention is totally drawn inward, as I find myselfhelplessly repeating the horrible words from my past."I am a toy. A toy does not think, a toy does not feel, a toy only obeys.A toy does not want, a toy does not need, a toy only serves. ..... I am atoy. A toy does not think, a toy does not feel ....."I cant seem to make it stop. All the grounding techniques, all theredirection methods are failing me, as. One day I slapped on her cheek, she got bleeding inside her mouth. I didn’t mean to so hard, it happened. She spit blood on my face & slap me real hard. I got stars circling my head. She was firing with dirty words, but I didn’t heard most words, my ears got only ‘tooooooooooo’ sound for few seconds. I said sorry, she throw me out. Next two days she didn’t let me near her. I begged her for forgive me. Atlast she did. We again started our sex seasons. I tried to keep control on my. I’ve been hanging out around here too much.’ ‘How many times have I told you that you were spendin’ too much time in this place? It’s a great place to work, Val, but you shouldn’t be livin’ here.’ ‘Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, have we got anything that’s urgent?’ ‘Nothin’ you don’t know about. McAllister’s BMW is going to the paint booth this morning. I made arrangements for him to pick it up tomorrow morning. The new fender for that ’55 Chevy arrived last night. Doug will get it on his rounds..
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.. discover my secret?” I said looking up suddenly realizing there was no intention of trying to fool these men – there was every intention that I
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